20 Year Reunion

Well, it's been 20 years since I graduated high school.  It doesn't seem that long!  Yesterday, our class met at the park for a family get together..I didn't attend.  In the evening, we met at Quincy Magoos for the adults only part.  Being that I'm not socal at all, it took quite a bit of self pushing to even get me to go.  In fact, I wasn't going until Friday afternoon when I decided I should.  Troy called in for vacation...even with only a days notice, he was able to get off.  We were one of the first to arrive.  Now, I'm not a bar person at all and even to step foot in one makes me terribly uncomfortable.  My theory was that since they also served food and there were some familys there that I would be fine.  Of course, I went into this fully expecting to continue to be the loner off to the side hoping that no one talked to me...however...it's a little disappointing when it actually happens that way.  Keep in mind that only a couple of people from the "group" I was in at school were there.  Most were from more outgoing, popular or sports groups....none of which I ever belonged to.  So, we sat, Troy and I, the only ones on the non-smoking side.  Everyone passed us by, none invited us to sit with them and no one asked to sit with us.  We finally moved to a bar section so we weren't totally alone.  Throughout the night, those that were sitting near us eventually moved to other tables.  By this time, I didn't care if I talked to anyone and I sure wasn't going to mingle.  The few that did stop and talk asked mostly about Stacy and where she was.  I spent most of the time there texting and talking to her to get her there.  She's still able to fit in and mingle and talk to people and is obviously still a popular person in the group.  Don't get me wrong, It was nice to see people that we graduated with, but I couldn't help to leave with a feeling of disappointment...I was remembered by a very few (even with a name tag on).  I spent most of my night in bed trying to figure out what I could have done differently and trying to reason out why I turned out the way I did.  Trying to figure out why being around people made me so miseralble.  I felt good about managing to get myself there in the first place, but still, even after all these years, want to fit in.  Stacy left shortly before us and we slipped out without being noticed...the story of my life.