Happy Birthday Caitlyn!

Wow, our 2nd baby turns 16 today!  It just doesn't seem possible.  She's become such a beautiful young lady.  It's been quite a different experience with her turning 16 than when Zack did a year ago.  She has no car, no interest in getting her license...and no interest in doing her 40 hour driving on her permit.  She's perfectly content just staying how she is.  I'm wondering how this all will work out in the future.  We went to Casa Montez for her birthday dinner yesterday and then made a trip to the mall for her to spend some of her birthday gift money.  It's always been bad with her birthday being so close to Christmas, but taking her to the mall 2 weeks before was just crazy!

New found interests...

My husband has always had an interest in drawing or painting and has, over the years, created a few beautiful sketches and doodles that manage to get crumpled up and tossed away.  It seems that my vision of what is good and his vision are somewhat different.  Over the past few weeks, he has dabbled in acrylic painting. I think it's a new found therapy for him if he were able to believe in himself.  Using my photography as inspiration, he has put together some beautiful translations on canvas.  I've watched him work and concentrate only to glance again too see him paint over his progress.  I wish he felt the urge to pick up the brushes more often.  After his first finished painting, he seemed to have a block and no matter how many times he tried, he just kept saying he didn't know why he could do it then and not during the multiple times following. 

Finally, during my ranting about my photography, he said I had gotten him wanting to paint again.  I handed him a package of ACEO acrylic cards that I had bought several weeks ago and told him he ought to try a painting on one.  My thoughts at the time I purchased them were that maybe if he didn't feel pressure to fill a large canvas in a short time that maybe he would try more often.  Surely completing a trading card would be a quicker sense of accomplishment.  Unfortunately I have found all of us lose interest if our goals take too long to achieve.  Something I'm not sure how to change.  The world seems to move at a much faster pace than our minds really want to go and we find ourselves concluding that we just weren't good enough...fast enough.  We look for approval from every outside source and look over the reality that the only true approval we need is within ourselves. We have to quit searching for our own perfection by comparing ourselves to everyone else and trust our own instincts. We have to learn to follow what is naturally in our own heart.  Then, and only then can we create things like this…an October sunset out our own backdoor.  Well, technically, God created the sunset…I captured it on “film,” and Troy translated it in paint…what a wonderful way to remember a split second in life that otherwise would have been forgotten…

 
Not only did he finish this painting, he also sparked an interest in our 10 year-old to grab some brushes and pour himself into his own creativity.  What a sight to see...a young mind...inspired by his Dad. 

Sleepless Nights...ARG!

Last night I spent several hours cooking apple crisp, peach cobbler, 2 cheesecakes and summer sausage for Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house this after noon.  I was tired, but found it difficult to fall asleep.  After only 2 hours of sleep, here I am wide awake at 2:44am.  It's at these times that my OCD tends to take over.  I woke up having a difficult time taking a deep breath and in my panic, I ran through my usual list of reasons only to come to the conclusion that I may be dying.  Yep, dying...one of my many obsessions.  As I sit here, I'm torn between taking a Ambien to help me sleep and just staying up.  I have a fear of not waking up and leaving my family in the night.  Some nights, I will mentally try and figure out what areas of my life need to be fixed, rearranged, changed or finished to make my passing easier for my kids and husband.  I don't have a reason to obsess over dying...other than being overweight, I'm perfectly healthy with no ailments that are detrimental to my life. So, why do I do it? I wish I knew.  I took medications for a while to help me get things under control, to help with the obsessions and compulsions and the anxiety that usually follows.  While most of the symptoms eased while taking the meds, I wasn't "me" anymore.  Everything was dulled.  I had no interests, no emotions and no feelings.  Should I have kept taking them?  Maybe.  I'm sure that if one of the side effects would have been weight loss, I would have been more able to deal with the "dullness" of me...but I gained weight...only making things worse.  So, here I am, trying to reason with myself.  Trying to make myself believe that I won't die if I go back to bed and wondering if all this is bad enough for me to go back on medications.  Am I truly seeing things the way they really are or is all this just some made up "reality?"  I wish I knew.

Tree Decorating

This morning, I picked up my newest Woman's Day magazine only to find that the first article I read was about the memories one lady family had in the ornaments they hung on their tree.  I was reduced to tears.  Our home was hit by a tornado in 2003.  While we were able to salvage a lot, our storage shed and its contents were scattered as far as we could see.  We lost all of the ornaments from our kids, my childhood and my husbands childhood.  Over 6 years has past and we still have metal in and around the trees along the tornado path.  I often wonder if any of our ornaments are still scattered across the fields and woods.  I say that the memories are all gone, but my husband assures me that that the memories are still with us. I guess he's right, but holding those ornaments floods my mind with times that are long gone.  The are tied to smells and sounds and and a time when the kids were little.  Of course, we've made new memories and will continue to make more...we have lots of years ahead of us. 

Lost Hen...Found!

Our poultry situation has been very frustrating for the past year.  We have lost nearly all our chickens and 15 turkey poults.  Up until last night, we were down to only 1 cochin hen, 4 cochin roosters, 3 silkie hens and 4 chicks that hatched over the summer.  Our barred rock hen mysteriously disappeared several days ago and I have nearly drove myself crazy trying to find signs of what happened to her.  After the massive wild animal feedings over the past months, there has always been a trail to follow that sadly ended in a pile of feathers.  This time...no signs.  My oldest had tried to convince me that she hides in the yard, but I would have thought that over several days that I would have noticed her coming out to get feed and water...and I hadn't.

Our small barn is divided into 2 sides and was originally built for our silkies and bantams to keep them from being taken advantage of by the big roosters.  I'm assuming we have some very intelligent predators out here, since, despite having the doors closed, latched and locked we still lost chickens.  The interior of the barn is divided with netting and the chickens divided themselves into the two sides when roosting.  I think the last invasion was traumatic enough that the next night, all the chickens refused to go in that side.  I closed it off and blocked it more permanently until we attempted more chickens.   That was a few months back.  For some reason, last night, I opened the nest box lid and was surprised to see the missing barred rock hen!  I have no idea how she got in there and have no idea how she has survived for as many days as she has been gone with no food or water.  I felt much better until I realized that the chick that our 3 silkie hens had hatched was gone.  

Our family could easily go through a dozen eggs a day, so I'm trying to decide about hatching some now for next spring layers.  I just am not too fond of feeding the area's predators this winter, or any winter for that matter.  So, my brain is flooded with more secure housing ideas.  Decisions...decisions....

Operation Christmas Child Shoe Boxes

This year, we packed 5 shoe boxes to send for Operation Christmas Child.  We had a much higher goal, but will  have to work on it again for next year. I get so emotional thinking about putting these boxes together.  The thoughts of kids that have so little and that have never experienced a Christmas morning is overwhelming. I so wish we could do more, not just for kids around the world, but for the kids right here at home too.  I've collected items for most of the year to fill the boxes, but have shopped the last couple of days to get some final things.  It's so hard to decide what to put in.  You have so little room to put so many needs.  I hope and pray that what we send touches the heart of a little one somewhere and is used as a tool to share the love of Christ.  We look forward to receiving an email letting us know where our boxes where delivered. and maybe a note from one or more of the recipients sometime in the future.

What to do, What to do...

My attitude has been rather nasty the last couple of days.  My brain is working overtime and nothing is getting done.  We have Caitlyn's birthday in a month and the Christmas 2 weeks after that...not to mention, Thanksgiving in 2 weeks.  My house is a wreck, the home school room isn't done, we have no extra money for school supplies and curriculum.  My refrigerator is pretty much empty as are my cabinets.  We've sold walnuts, scrap metal and Troy is cleaning trucks.  I've listed some ebay and opened an Etsy store for my photographs...in addition to both our regular jobs...and still we just don't seem to make it.  I have a feeling that hurts clear through my chest that we are missing something.  A yearning deep inside that we are being told what to do and I am missing it.  What a terrible feeling!  I am trying desperately not to miss the those blessings that God gives us on a daily basis.  It's always been a passion of mine to find those things that are easily walked by.  Lately, my view on things has seemed to dim.  I'm beginning to wonder what really is important, and if I'm on the wrong path, where did I miss the turn? Hmmm, wish I had some answers. Sayin' a prayer...and waiting on HIM.

So much for my extra hour of sleep!

Well, the dogs didn't realize that we set the time back and I got waken up promply at 5:45 to take them out.  I really expected it since their normal time is between 6:45 and 7am...but....was hoping that it didn't happen.  I took the opportunity to try and get some more ornaments and pendants worked on for my Etsy shop.  I'm so hoping to find something that eventually gets noticed for a little extra income.  While working, I logged in to my Pandora account and started listening to the Dwight Yoakam station.  I just hate it when memories flood in causing you to really want to go back in time.  It doesn't take a lot of the late '80 country music to take me back to weekends at Weela Park in Racine, MO.  My sister played drums there with a band during high school on the weekends.  Gosh, I wish I were back there again!  It was a no drinking, no smoking "bar" for families.  It was completed with the dark "sawdusted" dance floor.  I learned to two-step and swing there.  I never had a date, so since Stacy was playing, I learned to dance with her boyfriend and a few 60-70 year old men.  Funny how those times in life can bring tears to your eyes.  I can still close my eyes and see all of us there, how it looked, felt and even smelled.  We learned to dance well enough that her boyfriend and I won a 2-step contest at Mining Days later on.  That was a big accomplishment for me, who never put myself in the "spotlight".  Twenty some odd years pass so quickly. I really wish I had known what we all had back then...things have changed so much. A little "Amarillo by Morning" is all it takes...and I'm back there again! We grew up with so many opportunities and tons of experiences thanks to Mom and Dad...I wish my kids were able to experience even half as much with us.

Another Kid Driving!

Caitlyn got her driving permit last Monday.  Wow! driving with a girl is much different that driving with a boy!  I'm gonna have to go on heart meds by the time she learns.  I told her not to panic and take her time...that we had full coverage on the truck if something happened to happen.  We live out of the city limits, which is perfect for less traveled roads for her to learn on.  On her second time out, we nearly missed a curve and almost ended up in a corn field!  She just drove and drove...putting us somewhere I had never been.  I figured I was going to have to find us on the GPS for us to get back home.  Amazing though, if you turn enough times, you eventually end up back to something you recognize.  Caitlyn didn't care...she just wanted to drive.  She's got about 6 months of driving on the permit, which puts it a couple of months past her 16th birthday before she can test for her regular license.  She's still shopping for a car...I'm hoping we can find her one in time for her to practice driving in it.  Only 6 more years before the youngest drives....if I survive that long!

More eggs

Well, I brought home a second peafowl egg from Mom's white peahen and 3 guinea eggs to add to the incubator.  I don't like adding in at different times, however, being that it has only been 1 day, it should be fine.  The only issues I may have is that the guineas will be ready to hatch earlier than the peafowl.  I'm hoping for birds!

Incubating Mom's Peacock Eggs

Tonight, I brought home 2 of mom's peafowl eggs...one from her india blue and one from her white.  We've had terrible luck hatching anything at work.  I'm thinking it has to do with the swings in temperature in the office.  I hope that I'll be able to get these hatched.  I removed the 26 turkey eggs that I had in the incubator.  None were developing.  I am pretty sure I had stored them too long before getting the incubator done.  Kind of sad about that, but there's always next spring to start again.

It’s TWINS!

I got a call this afternoon from Caitlyn.  She heard our momma goat Pepper crying…in labor!  By the time I rushed home from work, I had missed the whole event…all except the clean up.  Pepper had given birth to 2 of the cutest little bucklings! 

 

20 Year Reunion

Well, it's been 20 years since I graduated high school.  It doesn't seem that long!  Yesterday, our class met at the park for a family get together..I didn't attend.  In the evening, we met at Quincy Magoos for the adults only part.  Being that I'm not socal at all, it took quite a bit of self pushing to even get me to go.  In fact, I wasn't going until Friday afternoon when I decided I should.  Troy called in for vacation...even with only a days notice, he was able to get off.  We were one of the first to arrive.  Now, I'm not a bar person at all and even to step foot in one makes me terribly uncomfortable.  My theory was that since they also served food and there were some familys there that I would be fine.  Of course, I went into this fully expecting to continue to be the loner off to the side hoping that no one talked to me...however...it's a little disappointing when it actually happens that way.  Keep in mind that only a couple of people from the "group" I was in at school were there.  Most were from more outgoing, popular or sports groups....none of which I ever belonged to.  So, we sat, Troy and I, the only ones on the non-smoking side.  Everyone passed us by, none invited us to sit with them and no one asked to sit with us.  We finally moved to a bar section so we weren't totally alone.  Throughout the night, those that were sitting near us eventually moved to other tables.  By this time, I didn't care if I talked to anyone and I sure wasn't going to mingle.  The few that did stop and talk asked mostly about Stacy and where she was.  I spent most of the time there texting and talking to her to get her there.  She's still able to fit in and mingle and talk to people and is obviously still a popular person in the group.  Don't get me wrong, It was nice to see people that we graduated with, but I couldn't help to leave with a feeling of disappointment...I was remembered by a very few (even with a name tag on).  I spent most of my night in bed trying to figure out what I could have done differently and trying to reason out why I turned out the way I did.  Trying to figure out why being around people made me so miseralble.  I felt good about managing to get myself there in the first place, but still, even after all these years, want to fit in.  Stacy left shortly before us and we slipped out without being noticed...the story of my life.

Finally Friday!

Some issues from yesterday are at least partially resolved…hope it continues to get better.  I’ve got some work to do and some decisions to make, but I’m up for it! I think I am anyway…

I found this morning that another one of my turkey hens was taken from her nest.  All that was left was a pile of feathers…so, I take off following the trail of feathers to try and find what we are dealing with.  Whatever “it” is doesn’t seem to care about the bait in the trap.  I was hoping that the problem was taken care of when the raccoon was relocated.  I’m guessing I was wrong.  The feather trail leads down to the ditch and partially down the road.  I’m left thinking that the neighbor’s dog is the culprit.  When I made it to their driveway, he was loose and came out after me.  It would be interesting to know if the remains of my turkey were back in their yard, but I’m not going to go find out.  I’m down to 1 hen now….and I’m still frustrated about it.  Aside from sitting outside on watch with a shotgun at night, I’m at a loss. 

Caitlyn texted me multiple times from camp last night.  Seems that there are a few unruly kids attending.  I believe the problem was taken care of, at least for now.  She doesn’t seem to be homesick, and actually seems quite comfortable away from here.  I really never expected my little girl to take up target shooting.  At least I know she will always be able to protect herself!

Terrible Nights make for Terrible Days!

A huge combination of events yesterday made for a sleepless night last night.  I'm going on barely 3 hours sleep and fading pretty quick.  We sent Caitlyn off today for a 4 day rifle camp in Marshall, MO.  She will be home Sunday afternoon.  Zack and I milked this morning and literally were soaked from the rain by the time we were done.  Granted, we were in the barn to milk, but it was the walk to and from the barn that was wet!  We had to make a unplanned trip to Walmart when we were done to get a couple of dry t-shirts so we could make it through the day. The boys are at work with me today and I'm babysitting my nephew Joshua.  Technically, I'm at work, but I'm having a terrible time focusing...maybe it'll get better as the day progresses. I'm still freezing from being damp...the dry shirt helped, but my socks, shorts and undergarments were all wet too.  I should have just went home and tried for a do over...

As for yesterday's events, lets just say that big changes may be in store for our family...not necessarily for the good.  I won't know until later how things will work out, but the potential for change is definately there.  I'm worried, stressed and honestly a little sick over it all.

On my way home from work today, this owl was sitting on the power lines.  Caitlyn tried to step out of the car to snap its picture, but a car came up from behind us and we had to move.  When we got turned back around it was gone.  Thankfully, on my way back through later, it was back.  It’s a beautiful barred owl.  I’m hoping he or she continues to return.

Just before I turned on our road, I caught this pretty girl in the neighbor’s crops…by the look on her face, I caught her by surprise too!

4th of July

I started out today making blackberry cobbler and cottage cheese salad for dinner at my parents house. This is going to be a strange 4th.  None of my kids want fireworks!  I don't think in all of my 38 years that we have ever not done fireworks!  Caitlyn says that she knows it's the 4th and knows what it means, but it's a waste of money to buy fireworks...hmmmm, I may have contributed to this thought...financial brainwashing maybe??  I tried and tried to get them to get sparklers, snap pops, confettii shooters or little rockets...but...NO... they didn't want any!  I'm just not sure how to think about this.  My younger sister and her family went to a friend's house, so we didn't even have the whole family together this year.  We have Shirley and Harold staying at mom's this year from California.  They've been in town for about 3 weeks now.  The family cookout and fireworks we have had for the last 5 years at my parent's property had to stop because there are just too many cows out there now...it just seems like things are changing too much.  Our dinner at mom's was great...you just can't beat hamburgers and hot dogs.  The kids swam for a while, Zack went home with Stacy to help mow her yard, Josh came home with me and we went out to feed cows...Troy went to the hospital to visit a friend that just had a baby...not much excitement.  I tried again to just get a few fireworks for tonight...it didn't work.  We saw a few displays from a distance around our house, but that is about it.  All in all, it was one of the strangest 4th's I've ever had, but we were all together.....that's what counts! Caitlyn and Zack went upstairs to bed, Kyle and Josh fell asleep watching Tom and Jerry on the hide-a-bed, Troy and I went to be with no kids, but still had all the dogs!

Wow, Time Flys!

It's amazing how fast time goes by!  It's nearly been a week and a half since I last posted.  The light situation in the barn seems to have helped some...we haven't lost any more poultry from the yard.  We did however lose another turkey hen that had just started sitting on eggs.  So, we've lost 3 of my 5 turkey hens.  A few nights back, Caitlyn saw the raccoon at the water tub with the goats, and then again on a tree stump.  We set the trap and a couple of days later, we caught the huge raccoon.  I have a problem killing them, so we relocated him away from our property.  Hopefully, he won't find his way back.  Our two remaining turkey poults fly very well now and will not stay in their pen.  I'm not sure if the last hen lost was their momma, but I'm pretty sure it was.  They have taken up with one of the other hens and have started roosting on the roof of the barn with her.  I am continuing to collect the eggs from the nests that I find to keep from losing another hen when she starts to sit.  Last night, I reached to collect the one egg in the nest only to find a huge black snake also there.  I screamed and it spit out an egg and disappeared into the grass.  Thank goodness I hadn't gotten to the point of touching the egg...I probably would have passed out if I would have grabbed the snake instead.

Tonight, I ran extension cords to the barn to turn on a light, and I'm leaving the security lights and porch lights all on. I'm hoping that a well lit backyard will discourage whatever is stealing my chickens. Yesterday, two more disappeared. I followed the feather trails through the field behind the house. They lead to a fairly good sized clearing and two piles of feathers. I'm not sure what we are dealing with here. I'm thinking it may be a fox or two. It has to be pretty good size to have taken 2 turkeys. Whatever it is has scared the chickens to the point that they roost on my back porch instead of going in the barn at dark. I'm really down about the whole thing. Our backyard used to be just buzzing with clucks, crows and all kinds of barnyard noises...now, it's almost silent except for the occasional turkey noises and the conversations between the goats.

Zack did awesome at the rifle competition this weekend.  He scored a 1569 with 88 x's yesterday and today he scored a 1588 with 101 x's today...perfect score is a 1600.  He was busy with unloading equipment for the upcoming camp and didn't get get the scores for all the participants...so, we don't know his placement.  He wasn't too happy with his scores yesterday, but they were shooting in rain and wind.  Next Saturday, he leaves again for Ft. Benning, GA for a week.  He learned so much from training with the US Army Rifle Team last summer and now, he gets another opportunity to go!  Last year, Dad, Caitlyn and I went also...it was an awesome experience.  This year, Dad and Zack will be going without us.

Shopping...ALONE!

Since Zack and dad are gone this weekend, mom and I have cow duty.  On a Saturday, 7:00am is just too early! After chores, I went to the grocery store...alone...no kids...no husband...and not even a cell phone.  I was armed with my list and coupons.  This is the second week of me trying the coupon thing.  I've read blogs and stories of people being able to save nearly their whole grocery bill by using coupons...so... I'm determined I'm going to make it happen!  I didn't do bad.  I got a tub of Pampers baby wipes for FREE...in fact, I got .03 back...and I got 2 packages of Taco Bell taco seasoning for FREE...I could get obsessed with this real quick!  Total savings today with coupons???  $18.52...not bad, but it's going to get much better!

Zack's truck had a flat tire, so last night, we left it at storage.  This morning, he was stuck riding with me and his brother and sister.  I think he's planning on having his tire fixed today.  He's been so busy working on his tractor that his truck has been ignored...lol.  It was a pretty normal morning.  Dad was out of town and mom had a doctor's appointment, so Zack and I were responsible for milking and feeding.  I lost my temper with Zack after an incident with Belle.  I'm not sure if it is just a male thing or what, but the tendency to force something to happen just because you want it to frustrates me.  I guess there is a possibility that I overreacted, but an animal that is placed in our care is our responsibility...they are totally dependent on us.  We have to follow their lead and read their actions and then react. The whole situation could have been avoided if Zack had been patient.  I'm guessing that is difficult for a 16 year old to grasp...just not sure.  Some things just have to be learned from experience.  So....as a result, I walked away from Bessie...still with the milker on.  I had gotten so distracted with the other situation, that I forgot to lock the head gate of the stanchion.  And...what does Bessie do when she is done eating???  She leaves the stanchion...still attached to the vacuum hose...still wearing the milker...geez.  It scared her when she got to the end of the hose, she jerked and the milker fell to the ground.  Thankfully, it landed right side up.  I was able to get the strap off of her and get her untangled.  At this point...I'm not happy, but ok.  I let the girls out to the field and accidentally let one of the bottle babies out with them.  Of course, it was the less cooperative one. After 15 or 20 minutes, Caitlyn, Kyle and I had her rounded back up and in the fence.  I continued to fix the bottles and then handed one to each kid.  They walked up to the calmer two calves and gave them the bottles...I got stuck circling the impossible calf, trying to get her into the barn.  I'm not sure what it is about her, but as soon as she is in the barn, she will turn and take a bottle...she just likes to be difficult I guess.  Finally, we finished...I was wet with sweat and sticky with milk...nice.  Zack didn't speak much to me today.  One part of me feels bad for getting upset, and the other part knows that he has to learn that actions have consequences.  All in all, we all ended up fine.  Zack installed the starter on his tractor.  He had been waiting impatiently on it to arrive for almost a week.  He is anxious to get it actually running.

Caitlyn has been trying to come up with something to create and sell on Etsy, so after work, we made a trip to Hobby Lobby.  I hope that she is able to find something that she enjoys to do that makes her a little money also.  She has so many creative ideas and I'm not sure she is able to zero in on one...she may have to try them all!  Troy detoured on the way to work tonight to look at a 1998 Dodge Neon for Caitlyn. She is so much harder to find something for. Zack's deal just seemed to fall in our laps...Caitlyn's is taking a little more work.  We now only have 6 months to find a car before her 16th birthday. She's been upset that Zack had his earlier than we are getting her one.  It really has nothing to do with it being for her.  Finances are a little different than they were 2 years ago...things are a bit harder now.  Just one more thing that kids just have a hard time understanding.

Time for bed...I'm tired and my body hurts. Zack is staying at mom and dad's, he has a shoot this weekend in Marshall, MO.  Troy is already working...Caitlyn is in bed and Kyle is waiting on me to finish this....

Molly...

Sometimes, I'm just amazed at how creative animals are. I know that our goats will get down on their front knees to eat sometimes, and I often wondered if the cows would do the same thing if they needed to...now I have my answer...

This is Molly.  She is one of the Jerseys that Mom and Dad have on their property.  She's just a year old and acts like a little kid.  She's grabbing all the feed that the calves drop out of the creep feeder.  She resorted to this method when the netting was put on to keep her from squeezing her head between the boards to eat out of the trough.  She's quite entertaining!

Geeezzzz I would like to sleep in on a Saturday...oh well.  It was a busy day today.  I took care of some laundry, mopped the bathroom and helped plant the garden (mostly supervised).  Troy cooked steak for supper...oh my goodness it was good!  I don't know if it was the home raised beef, the marinating or the combination, but it was awesome! We ended the day babysitting my nephew and watching part of Avatar. It's pretty sad that we can't make it through a whole movie anymore.  Troy and Kyle fell asleep so I shut it off to finish tomorrow. 

After today's grocery shopping, I ended up only spending $57.00 on food this week!!  Wow!  I'm sure that over the next few days that we will find a few things that I missed, but it sure beats the nearly $150.00 a week that I was spending. 

Troy was supposed to be fixing ham and beans for supper tonight.  I absolutely don't like it, but the rest of the family does.  He called me at work to tell me that I got my wish...he had put the ham and beans on to cook and went on to bed since he works tonight.  He got woke up by the dogs barking at the smoke rolling from the kitchen...he burned the beans.  Thank goodness for the dogs or he may have burned down the house!  So...now, I have to figure out supper...

Woo Hoo! Friday!

I got woke up this morning by our dog Sammie.  He sleeps in the floor beside the bed, but in the mornings, he wants in the bed.  Unfortunately, he can't seem to lift his backside up...so...he grabs my arm with his front paws and bounces on his back feet to try and jump up...quite a sight! I'm wishing for a sleep in day, but I'm thinking that it's not happening in the near future.  I'm up to go milk and bottle feed 4 new babies at mom and dad's...then, off to work.  This morning I have all 3 kids with me...well, 2 actually with me, the 3rd drives himself.  It's payday, which means...grocery shopping!  We had lots left over from last week, so my list is pretty short.  I'm still trying to stay at or under $100.00 a week for food.  I have a few more coupons this week and a couple of free items.  We'll see how it goes.

Terrible Night!

I will have to say that last night was possibly one of the worst nights I have had in a long time.  We watched storm clouds move in in the evening, but on the radar, it looked as if the storm was going to go north of us.  We were at Mom and Dad’s property feeding and milking when lightening started flashing in the sky.  The dark clouds still lingered in the north.  When we started to head home, a warning sounded on the radio.  Obviously, the storm had a pretty good chance of at least coming close to us. We had spent the time between work and chores planting the flowers that we bought over last weekend and finding a spot for the new cottonwood tree.  I figured a little rain would be good for the plants.  Not long after we got home and ate supper, the wind started picking up and light rain started.  Heavy rain followed with the worst hail we’ve had in a long time.  It sounded like all the windows were going to be shattered.  The ground was beginning to be covered in pea to marble sized hail…our yard actually looked like it had snowed.  Our family doesn’t “deal” with storms well after having a tornado 7 years ago. Our youngest was only 3 at the time, but obviously he remembers more than we realize.  At 10, he literally panics.  Our backdoor had to be braced with a chair under the door knob and the rain poured in under it into the dining room floor.  After what seemed like forever, things calmed down.  Caitlyn ran out to the cars to see if windows had been broken out, and slid on the ice in the driveway.  I hadn’t realized that our animals weren’t able to get under shelter.  Our turkey hen with 6 poults is housed on the north side of the house so that she is blocked from the hottest sun and from most of the rain.  Unfortunately, the rain and hail last night came in from the north.  I found 4 of the 6 babies literally buried in ice.  I had to dig them out.  Two of the babies were able to get to shelter, but the others weren’t able to beat being covered.  I brought all for limp bodies in the house, Troy grabbed the hair dryer and I grabbed towels.  He started on the only one that showed signs of living.  I wrapped the others up and started warming them up just in case.  Two started moving some so I just turned the faucet on in the kitchen and let warm water run over them to try and heat them up as quick as possible. Their poor little bodies were bruised and bloody from being beaten by the hail.  At this point, I fell apart…it had been building and I was trying to control it…didn’t work.  After nearly an hour of working with the babies, we had 3 of the 4 with eyes open, and one calling his momma.  Somewhere around 11pm, 2 of the babies were dry and warm and were returned back to the hen.  One was still having some kind of seizure problem.  I wasn’t expecting him to make it and figured he had been hit to many times in the head.  I wrapped him in a towel  so that he didn’t have much room to move and put him in a box in the closet, hoping he would be better by morning.  At about midnight, I went outside to try and find the other hen that had the smaller babies.  I found her under a tree and assumed that her babies were with her, so I didn’t check any further. By this time, I was alone.  Everyone else had long since gone to bed…I figured I better join them. 

I woke up way before the alarm and waited until I had more daylight to check on things outside.  The baby I had kept in the closet recovered well, stood and flew in with its momma.  The other ones had survived the night…we only lost 1.  I heard the other hen calling her babies.  I found her and a few feet away were her 2 babies…dead.  All I could think of was…if I had only checked further last night I could have saved them…but I didn’t and I felt terrible.  I gathered them up, and got the one that we lost last night and buried them in the yard.  I noticed our new tree had survived the storm, but was leaning…and our flower bed was pretty much ruined.  The vegetable plants on the porch were pretty damaged, but salvageable.  I feel terrible for the little turkey lives that were lost last night, and can’t help but tear up thinking about what they went through…I’m kind of emotional that way.  I’m thankful that my family is all safe…in time, this will all be in the past…just one of those things that we experience that makes us who we are. 

Tuesday…Back to work!

Well, I got a little relief from worry.  Troy found momma turkey and her 3 babies.  I searched for a while last night with a spot light trying to find her and never did.  I had pretty much decided that she had became food for some other animal.  It's really getting old losing so many animals.  Another plus, Troy called after feeding to tell me that an egg was hatching in the nest boxes with no momma sitting.  Pretty sad that it is hot enough that the next box provided an ideal hatching environment without a broody hen! She had done most of the job, however, but had left the nest a few days before.  He brought the piped egg in and put it in the incubator.  By the time I got home, it had hatched and was nearly dry.  I've got to spend the time to get the new incubator put together.  I have collected about 18 turkey eggs that have been laid in multiple places in the field behind the house.  Our neighbor is pretty close to baling hay behind us and it would be terrible to lose a sitting hen to a tractor! 

We were able to make it back to Atwoods this morning for some 75% off trees.  We bought 2 cotton less cottonwood trees that are nearly 15 ft tall.  Total cost....$6.25 each!  Now, the task is to find a place to plant them that the goats aren't able to reach!

Memorial Day

Troy worked last night, so again, he's sleeping today to work again tonight.  I stayed home this morning and didn't help with milking cows.  Sleep just seems to get less and less...so frustrating.  Dad and Zack attended an auction in Joplin.  Zack is shopping for a tractor to rebuild and resale.  He is such a busy 16 year old.  Sometimes my head hurts from listening to all he researches!  We went to mom and dad's for tacos and then homemade icecream.  Not our usual crowd, my sister and her family were out of town, but hey, it's more ice cream for us! 

On our way home, we stopped at Atwoods and noticed their trees were 75% off.  The past 2 years, we have been able to get nice sized trees for nearly nothing.  Unfortunately, the store closed while we were outside looking at the trees...just our luck!  We're planning on getting there early in the morning to get a cottonless cottonwood.  They didn't have a huge selection, but what they did have were all good size trees.

I spent some time this morning signing up for free samples and coupons.  I'm really gettting into this savings thing..not a bad thing to obsess about I guess.  The more "stuff" that comes in the mail, the more "into" it I get.  I'm sure my family thinks I'm crazy, but I just keep telling them...go ahead and laugh at all my little bottles and packets...I'm gonna prove it's all worth it! 

Lazy Sunday...

Well, Troy worked last night, so he slept this morning for work again tonight.  I missed out on church this morning, I just can't bring myself to go by myself.  It's one of the drawbacks to having a husband working nights.  I pretty much had a lazy day.  I went in to take care of cows morning and night, but other than that, I didn't do anything productive. The little chick that spent the night back in the barn was brought back in today.  It's just not keeping up with the others and wasn't doing well.  I kept it in the incubator for warmth, but unfortunately, later in the afternoon it died.  Losing animals is the hardest thing for me to deal with.  I know that it is part of life and sometimes there just isn't anything you can do, however, in this house, all options are exhausted before giving up...that's just how we are.

Saturday!!

What happened today??? I woke up just after 5am. Why? I have no idea, and wasn't very happy about it either. It did give me more time to take care of all our animals before leaving to milk Daisy and Belle. To my surprise, our second momma turkey had hatched a 3rd poult and our 3 silkie mommas had hatched a 4th chick! I found later in the day that one of the chicks had died, and the newly hatched chick had been beat up on pretty bad. I've had it in the house with me for several hours to make sure it's still able to eat and drink by itself. At dark, I put it back with a momma. I'm sure she does a much better job keeping it warm than I do! Hopefully by morning it'll be going strong. If not, I'll bring it back in the house and probably set up the brooder. The new momma turkey has moved her brood to a new location...AHHH! I'm panicked at this point! With acres of chest high grass behind our property...and hay baling season here, I'm thinking that I may never find her. I did though...up against our fence by the corner post. These girls can figure out how to fly out, but can never manage to figure out how to fly back in. Enough about animals. Troy and I finally were able to buy plants for our garden. At the rate we are going, we may have tomatoes by October! I seriously hope it is earlier than that. We found pink and regular brandywine tomatoes, cucumbers, cantaloupe, black diamond watermelon and okra. We still have peas and green beans to find. I was hoping to find plants of those started already, but because we are late, there isn't much to from as far as vegetables go. We may have to try other locations when time permits, or just start from seed. We bought a few flowers also to fill in our flower bed. I keep telling myself that they aren't a necessity, but they sure do make the day a bit brighter. I'm excited to get started, and can't wait for that first garden tomato!

Payday means Shopping!

Ok, so we are working seriously at becoming debt free.  With only our mortgage and one loan, we really aren't far from it.  I am looking forward to only having utilities to pay!  I've set our goal at 7 years.  That means that approximately $85,000 will have to be paid off by then.  I'm trying to stay positive and take things one step at a time.  We've paid off our medical bills and one small loan already and are working toward an emergency fund.  In the mean time, I've set up an "envelope" system to start working primarly on a cash only basis.  I know it will take a bit of time for us to become used to it, but in the long run it will be well worth it.  Friday is my payday and my designated shopping day.  I plan on being armed with the week's menu,  a list of needed items....and COUPONS! I have issues with remembering coupons, so this is going to be a challenge.  My collection is really small, so I keep them in a small expandable folder for now.  I've read of people drastically cutting their grocery bill by using coupons, rebates and specials...I hope I can get the hang of it.  With a family of 5, including 2 teenagers, I've been spending about $150.00 a week on groceries.  The plan is to cut that back to $100.00 a week, and hopefully even lower.  We do have a few things working in our favor...my parents have had 2 steers processed, so we have a very good supply of beef, we raise our own chickens, mainly for the eggs and, right now we have a endless supply of fresh raw milk from my parent's dairy cows. Today, I only used 3 coupons and only saved $3.00, but it is a start.  I spent 136.16.  Once my collection of coupons and my experience grows, I hope to do much better.  My family says they are behind me on this, but I can tell that they liked the foolish spending much better.  I know it's hard for kids (and husbands) to see the light at the end of the tunnel...I just hope the light is really there!

A New Me???

Well, I'm waking up to day 5 of my "new me" plan...is it going well? Maybe...I've not gone over my target calories, and I've tried to eat more fruits. I've only had 2 Dr Peppers and not 1 fast food value meal! Do I want it to work? Of course. Do I hve the will power to stick with it? I'm not so sure. With my 20 year class reunion in just about 7 weeks, I really don't have time to reach my "ideal" weight....Lol. Wishful thinking! According to all th online weightloss calculators that ideal would involve me losing around 150 lbs! My non-professionally measured BMI is 45.6, morbidly obese...yuck! Fact is though, I only feel FAT, morbidly obese just sounds horrible! Of course, I know I'm overweight...the mirror tells me everyday. And, NO, I don't want to remain in this condition, but my confidence in myself is pretty low and I'm not sure I believe enough in myself to stick with it. I just keep praying that God will give me the strenght to keep going...even when I'm ready to give up.

What a day...

The morning started out earlier than I wanted it to.  Sometimes, the dogs just can't wait to go out.  Then it was off to work...to milk Bessie and Belle.  In tow this morning was a cute little fuzzy newly hatched chick that just wasn't in good shape this morning.  It spent most of the day held against my chest since it cried when I put it in the box.  Thank goodness, after a bit of water and some attention, it was reunited with momma after work. Work was rather quiet, other than the quiet chirping.  Zack had to make a trip home to get Kyle.  He wasn't feeling well and needed me...I'm glad at least one of the kids still really "needs" me. He felt better as the day went on and by the time we made it home, he was back to normal.  We had a busy evening after work.  We discovered that a second royal palm hen had hatched a couple of poults.  We aren't sure if she is going to leave the nest now, or continue to sit on the remaining eggs.  Only time will tell.  We had tacos for supper...one of the few meals that we all sit down at the table to eat.  I try hard to make meals that require the family to sit together, but it just doesn't always work with kids activities and Troy working nights.  All in all, a good day...ready for bed!

A Little Good With the Bad

This morning, all 3 kids went with me to work.  I'm thankful that I am able to work for my parents and have the opportunity to have my kids with me.  I'm also thankful that at 16, 15 and 10, my kids still want to be with me.  We are pretty much on a break for a few weeks from homeschooling...at least at the moment.  We may try to do some more before the actual year ends on June 30, but after having our first year kind of a year of confusion, I really need a bit to regroup and plan for next year.  I'm hoping to do much better at choosing curriculum this time and have gained a bit more knowledge on the whole homeschool process to make things a bit easier.  On with the day...Troy called mid-afternoon to let me know we have chicks hatching.  Our poor silkies have been trying to hatch babies for nearly 3 years.  Currently, 3 hens are on nests.  We candled the eggs a couple of weeks ago and removed all the non-fertile ones.  Troy closed up the barn with netting in hopes of saving these babies.  Our track record this year with poultry hasn't been good.  Predators have pretty much wiped us out of chickens, and today I found a pile of feathers where one of our royal palm hens was nesting.  Turkeys are pretty good size, I'm getting really curious to find what is killing them.  Zack drove the tractor home from work to till us a garden spot, better late than never!  I wanted one done and planted by the first of May, but that just didn't happen.  I have big plans this year for preserving and freezing, I just hope my plans work out. There would be nothing better than to go through this winter with canned garden tomatoes.  I'm hoping for enough veggies to give some relief from our grocery bill.  So far, we couldn't be more blessed...fresh milk from mom and dad's Jersey and Holstein cows, beef also from mom and dad, eggs and chicken from our own back yard, we have apple and peach trees with fruit this year, and if I can stand it, we will be having heritage turkey in our freezer. 

Second 4-legged baby “fixed”…

This morning, Troy had to make a trip to the vet with Sammie.  He was next on the list to be fixed.  With 7 dogs in the house, the process has to be stretched out this year.  First was Mack, the oldest in the house and the quickest to nip at anything that passed in front of him.  It’s been 2 months since his surgery…finally, he is noticeably calmer, still on the quick to nip side, but much better than before.  We decided to get all the males done first (4 of them) and then work on the females since their surgeries are usually more involved.  After work, I headed to pick Sammie up.  They carried him out with his hind feet dragging…he weighs about 60 lbs and wouldn’t put his feet down and walk…LOL!  Kyle was the only human kid with me today, so he got the job of occupying Sammie while I drove.  He didn’t have much work to do, Sammie was very well behaved, and rode in the car as if he does it every day.  After a short 10 minutes or so, Kyle yelled..seems that a certain well behaved puppy threw up all down his arm…ewww! Thank goodness for saved napkins in the glove compartment…otherwise I wasn’t prepared for any mess.  He threw up a second time, nearing Webb City, in the floor.  I tried to catch it all in a ball hat that was laying in the seat…missed though.  This time, Kyle was wanting to move to the back seat to keep from getting it again.  We finally got to a place that was safe for Kyle to crawl over to the back seat and Sammie made himself comfortable in the passenger seat.  By this time, drool was being flung everywhere.  It was like someone turned on a faucet.  Of course what is a person to do?  Well, you HAVE to take a picture!

Finally, after one more episode of throwing up in the seat, we made it home…what a nice 25 mile trip from Neosho to Webb City!  Next time, I’ll be more prepared…with cleaning supplies!

Still Raining...

From the way things look outside, I'm guessing if April showers bring May flowers, then May showers just bring more mud!  I'm pretty sure at this point that we won't have grass in the back yard this year...almost all mud now. The turkeys, goats and chickens outside have been drenched for days.  This morning we I woke to Troy coming home from work.  I'm beginning to think that 6:30am gets earlier and earlier every day!  While feeding this morning, we found that we've lost my last buff polish hen to something in the night.  We have had so much lost in the last few months.  Last Saturday, we came home to find one of our turkey hens missing...remains were located in the field behind the house.  She was sharing a nest with another hen and they were sitting on 39 eggs...no eggs left now...  Thursday, I went to check another nesting site to find that all but one egg was gone.  At last count there were 14 eggs there.  It's just not a good Spring for poultry!  I've since decided to collect the eggs from that nest to incubate.  We are assuming due to the condition the remains are left in that we aren't dealing with a raccoon or oppossom this time.  Troy is thinking that it may be a fox.  The field grass behind the house is so tall at this point, that pretty much anything could get right up to our fence and we wouldn't even notice.  We brought the trap back home from my parents property, hopefully we'll catch something. Troy is concerned that whatever it is will need a bigger trap.