Last night, Troy was supposed to have off work, but he had to work part of the night anyway. He came in sometime after midnight. I remember trying to talk to him, but I couldn't seem to get awake enough to make sense. I know he took Tipsy (the goat) out and gave her a bottle and that's about it. Around 3 am, I woke up and could not go back to sleep. It's been a long and stressful week for me. We nearly finished the kids senior pictures...at least enough to get through senior Sunday at church. I didn't get all the shots I wanted, but we have a bit of time left..if we can fit it in. I found out that Caitlyn has already been looking for apartments in Springfield and is planning on moving out and living there during school. Granted, it would save her on gas and the trips to and from Springfield, but I'm still not feeling ok about it. We have to still wait and find out what Zack is going to do. He missed out on getting in the dorms in Linn, MO, and will have to find a place to live before school starts in the fall.
The reality of everything seem to all come up in the wee hours of this morning. My mind races with ideas and solutions and I go from excitement to sadness. Our oldest two will be moving out in just a short 2 months or so...what am I going to do? I worry that Kyle will be depressed from being the only kid at home and I worry that we won't be able to fill that void that he will feel. I know that my kids have grown to be very responsible young adults and I honestly don't have anything to worry about...they will be fine. Yeah..right...I keep telling myself that...but it really isn't helping. Around 5 am, I gave up. I slipped out of bed and filled the tub with hot water and peppermint bubble bath. I was hoping to relax to the point of being able to go back to bed for a couple of hours, but that didn't work. I stayed in the tub until after the sun peeked through the bathroom window.
Our lives are getting ready to change drastically. In my mind I know they are growing up and this is the beginning of them starting their own lives...in my heart, I long for them to be little again.
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