Zack's Next Big Step

I'm trying desperately to keep myself together.  Yesterday nearly pushed me to the limit though.  We left for Linn, MO yesterday morning with the intentions of getting Zack registered for classes.  I honestly hadn't realized the activities that would go on.  We were a bit early, so we picked up lunch in the cafeteria...next time...we will eat elsewhere.  I'm not sure if it was just our choices or what, but it wasn't terribly appetizing.   While we were eating, Zack filled out his paperwork for the day.  

I wanted to cry when I seen the name tag... 

He was fitted for his uniform, photographed for his student Id, given his parking permit and finally given his schedule and list of fees.  We spoke to the housing representative only to find that the waiting list had at least 30 people on it.  He recommended that we hold on to our deposit and use it to try and find off campus housing.  We've had the off campus apartment list for a while, but Zack had decided he wanted to buy a camper and stay at a year-around campground near the school.  After seeing his schedule, I pretty much knew he would be better off close to campus.  While Zack and I checked some things with financial aid, Troy made some quick calls to a nearby apartment complex.  We were able to meet owner before leaving town and walked through a couple of his units.  The only single apartment that was available had a tenant that would not be moving out until August 14th.  We took it.  Zack will have to move in on the 15th and will start school on the 21st.  

Standing there in that empty apartment trying to decide what was best isn't the easiest thing to do.  Honestly, it's not our choice anymore.  I think Zack was a bit overwhelmed and really wasn't sure what do to at this point.  I just wanted to cry.  I could feel tears coming and tried to stop them. I glanced across the room to see Troy had noticed my emotional breakdown...I hadn't hidden it from everyone.  All I kept thinking was that in only 10 weeks, Zack would be moving out for real...no doubts...no changing minds...no stopping it.  Will he survive? Will I survive? Who knows.  I do know he's entering a program that wasn't easy to be accepted into.  He's a strong, intellegent young man with a great future ahead of him.  I just can't help but still see  him as a little kid...