Our First Baby Has Left...

This morning at 5:08am our baby girl pulled out of our driveway on her way to start a life of her own.  She is such a confident and mature 17 year old.  We've known this was coming for weeks now, but it still doesn't make the reality of it happening any easier to deal with.  I think the most unsettling part is that she still hasn't gotten approved for a place to live so temporarily she will be in an extended stay motel.  On the plus side of that is that it puts her right in the middle of all the activities on 76 in Branson, Missouri.  What teenager wouldn't want to spend her summer in all that plus she gets to work at Silver Dollar City.  I spent the hour after she left crying,  waiting on Troy to get home from work.  He wasn't here to tell her bye, or to give her any fatherly instructions and I know that hurts him.

Zack's Next Big Step

I'm trying desperately to keep myself together.  Yesterday nearly pushed me to the limit though.  We left for Linn, MO yesterday morning with the intentions of getting Zack registered for classes.  I honestly hadn't realized the activities that would go on.  We were a bit early, so we picked up lunch in the cafeteria...next time...we will eat elsewhere.  I'm not sure if it was just our choices or what, but it wasn't terribly appetizing.   While we were eating, Zack filled out his paperwork for the day.  

I wanted to cry when I seen the name tag... 

He was fitted for his uniform, photographed for his student Id, given his parking permit and finally given his schedule and list of fees.  We spoke to the housing representative only to find that the waiting list had at least 30 people on it.  He recommended that we hold on to our deposit and use it to try and find off campus housing.  We've had the off campus apartment list for a while, but Zack had decided he wanted to buy a camper and stay at a year-around campground near the school.  After seeing his schedule, I pretty much knew he would be better off close to campus.  While Zack and I checked some things with financial aid, Troy made some quick calls to a nearby apartment complex.  We were able to meet owner before leaving town and walked through a couple of his units.  The only single apartment that was available had a tenant that would not be moving out until August 14th.  We took it.  Zack will have to move in on the 15th and will start school on the 21st.  

Standing there in that empty apartment trying to decide what was best isn't the easiest thing to do.  Honestly, it's not our choice anymore.  I think Zack was a bit overwhelmed and really wasn't sure what do to at this point.  I just wanted to cry.  I could feel tears coming and tried to stop them. I glanced across the room to see Troy had noticed my emotional breakdown...I hadn't hidden it from everyone.  All I kept thinking was that in only 10 weeks, Zack would be moving out for real...no doubts...no changing minds...no stopping it.  Will he survive? Will I survive? Who knows.  I do know he's entering a program that wasn't easy to be accepted into.  He's a strong, intellegent young man with a great future ahead of him.  I just can't help but still see  him as a little kid...

The First New Babies of the Year

The first 2 baby peachicks hatched this morning at work.  Let the excitment begin!  Meet #2 and #1...and yes, I had to tag them on the wings...very easy process but it still made my stomach hurt!

To say the least, I'm not thrilled about being awake this morning.  After staying up way too late...actually it turned into way early the next morning...watching River Monsters with Zack on Netflix...I kind of just wanted to stay in bed.  On the plus side, we watched the entire season...8 episodes...on the down side...I have to work.  I dragged myself out of bed and let the dogs out.  Without any help, I didn't have much control.  Lucy takes advantage and makes a bee line to the back fence..scales it and is gone...ugh.  I did manage to keep Sammie in this time.  I run to the front to see if I can get her to come back in.  She's already made it to the end of the far driveway with the new stray and Rudy following.  I yelled at them, Lucy looked back and then kept running.  The other two made a mad dash to me and proceeded to leave loving muddy paw prints across my chest and back.  At least they listen.  I came back through the house to let the dogs in and to fix a bottle for Tipsy.  I hear quite a commotion and goats screaming.  I ended up finding Tipsy with her head stuck through the fence and Elvis ramming into her from the other side.  How she fit her head through is through a 2x4 hole is beyond me because it sure wasn't coming back out.  I managed to get the fence bent enough to push her back through.  I brought her in to give her a bottle and now she won't make a sound, she won't take her bottle, and she won't walk.  I guess she's traumatized.  I feel terrible.  On top of all that, last night was the first night that I left her with her momma...she'll probably never get over it. This is not a great way to start a Monday!

A long night...again...

Last night, Troy was supposed to have off work, but he had to work part of the night anyway.  He came in sometime after midnight.  I remember trying to talk to him, but I couldn't seem to get awake enough to make sense.  I know he took Tipsy (the goat) out and gave her a bottle and that's about it.  Around 3 am, I woke up and could not go back to sleep.  It's been a long and stressful week for me.  We nearly finished the kids senior pictures...at least enough to get through senior Sunday at church.  I didn't get all the shots I wanted, but we have a bit of time left..if we can fit it in.  I found out that Caitlyn has already been looking for apartments in Springfield and is planning on moving out and living there during school.  Granted, it would save her on gas and the trips to and from Springfield, but I'm still not feeling ok about it. We have to still wait and find out what Zack is going to do.  He missed out on getting in the dorms in Linn, MO, and will have to find a place to live before school starts in the fall.  

The reality of everything seem to all come up in the wee hours of this morning.  My mind races with ideas and solutions and I go from excitement to sadness.  Our oldest two will be moving out in just a short 2 months or so...what am I going to do?  I worry that Kyle will be depressed from being the only kid at home and I worry that we won't be able to fill that void that he will feel.  I know that my kids have grown to be very responsible young adults and I honestly don't have anything to worry about...they will be fine. Yeah..right...I keep telling myself that...but it really isn't helping.  Around 5 am, I gave up.  I slipped out of bed and filled the tub with hot water and peppermint bubble bath.  I was hoping to relax to the point of being able to go back to bed for a couple of hours, but that didn't work.  I stayed in the tub until after the sun peeked through the bathroom window.

Our lives are getting ready to change drastically.  In my mind I know they are growing up and this is the beginning of them starting their own lives...in my heart, I long for them to be little again.

Good News!

By this afternoon, the baby was able to stand on her own and acutally walk around. She's still unable to get herself back up if she falls and she is still very wobbly, but she is much better.  She is taking her bottle, but is unable to hold her balance and take it, so she has to be held to take it.

If I hadn't followed my gut and looked for other treatment she probably wouldn't have made it to this point.  She's still going to work with me, but when I am home I am still taking her out to her momma hoping her momma will take care of her.  She does, but only to the extent of running to her when she makes a sound and licking on her, but no signs of nursing.  Of course, the baby still can't stand steady enough to nurse, but one can hope.

This morning I just had a feeling that the treatment we were doing was wrong.  I had been reading online and all her symptoms sounded like a vitamin B1 deficiency.  She was able to stand only if we put her that way, but if she fell, she couldn't get up.  When Troy got home from work, he called another vet.  We took her in this time. He have her a few shots and sent us back home with more doses to give her over the next few days.  I took her to work with me again today.  She just laid...hardly moved.